Not everyone 'gets' this... so I want to spell it out.
Children are always being trained 'to' OR 'not to'
That is: Whatever it is that they do frequently/most commonly with ANY given thing/task/event/etc is what they believe is right, and learn to do by habit.
So if my child is 'most commonly' getting away with being lazy in their given jobs, then I am training them to be lazy.
'Getting away with'... is exactly that. I might tell them to hurry up, get a move on, do it again and do it better (nag nag nag)
UNLESS I insist on the task being done well and with speed, then they are 'getting away with it' and I am training them in laziness
'Insist' = to remove ALL other options
so... I can't ever say I 'tried'... I either did what I needed to do train my child well or I chose not to and chose instead to train them to live in a way that is against our ideals
- - - -
Yes, sometimes I need to sit down and nut out what 'insist' looks like in a particular situation with a particular child... but in the end, the formula remains the same.
I am either training my children 'to' or 'not to'.
So is every other parent out there.